Feeling weak

I have officially hit a wall. I feel like i am giving up. I can't even begin to explain how much i hurt for all of you mothers you have it WAY worse than i do. This is really not that big of a deal but Dr Rose called today and said the blood work we had done on Monday was still concerning, low blood sugar and low (something else, can't even remember) but it means she's still dehydrated. He wants me to take her again in the morning to see what her numbers are. Well since all she has done since Monday is poop, i'm pretty sure they won't be real great. I am so scared they are going to put her back in the hospital. I can't do it again. I can't even take her to the lab to get stuck again, i've asked my mom to please take her. Let me tell you the problems with the arm stickers at Mckay Dee. They aren't trained in pediatrics, or if they are, they need more. At Primarys, they were so good at finding veins, but when i take her to the lab here it's always the same story, "We need to strap her down, she's soo strong!" "We can't find a vein, her veins are so tiny!" " We need to try the other arm" "O this arm is worse!" ...and so on. After 20 minutes of hyperventalating from screaming so hard, 3-4 pokes later, 2 pink arm bands, and a treat from the box (let's be honest, that does NOT help!) we are headed home. Seriously so heart wrenching. I know, i'm being a baby. I am trying to be strong, i just needed to vent :)
Help me, give me advice on how to stay strong for my baby girl. I am weak.

15 hours of sleep!

Libbi went down at 4pm last night, woke up at 8:30 this morning!! Holy cow she must've been tired! It was daylight savings so even though she woke up at 8:30 it was more like 7:30 in real life :) Still, that's alot of sleep! And the sadest part was, she was covered in poop when i went in to check on her, i actually woke her at 8:30 to clean her up because it was EVERYWHERE! Who knows how long she would've slept if i hadn't woke her up! Poor girl! But so happy to be home :)

Home sweet home

We made it home this afternoon. It was not fun. It was worse than surgery at 6 months old, let me tell you why..
1. I was prepared mentally for the surgery
2. She was 6 months old, not 1!
3. She was pretty heavily sedated with surgery so she slept alot
I know that's seems silly but it was really hard to keep her entertained, she didn't want to eat the lactose free formula so she cried ALOT! Then i got sick today and had to do all i could to just keep on going for her. It was ugly. It made me really scared for surgery in a year or two. I can't even imagine trying to keep a 2-3 year old entertained in a hospital room. Yuck i don't even want to think about it. For now, she is happy to be home, she got here and was speed crawling into every room looking for the kids! They weren't here but they got here quick, and they were just as excited to see her and she was them! She went down for a nap at 4, i think she may sleep all night! I love it here, i may never leave again :)
And just a word to the wise, keep your little ones in as much as you can right now. This stuff is ugly. My niece, and my sister in laws niece have both been hospitalized this week too! And i even caught it, i am the biggest germaphobe out there just ask my family! It is noooooo fun!

Update

Over-nighter turned into 2 nights :( She isn't throwing up anymore but is still have d really bad. Also, she won't eat. They switched her to gentle ease formula, which she doesn't like. She won't eat it at all. She did drink some pedialytle and juice last night finally so we will see how the morning goes. Cross your fingers she can come home today, Kurt can't take another night there! He is such a trooper, he stayed both nights with her. I am a bad mom/wife if i don't get my sleep (and sometimes even if i do) so i came home with the other kids. They are testing for roto virus, we will see today if that's it.

Over-Nighter

Tonight Libbi is spending the night at the hospital, Mckay Dee not PC. She has had a flu bug since Tuesday night and today i finally felt i should call. She was dry heaving, i felt that was enough. They got me right in, and Dr. Rose said she needed to be admitted, worrying about her blood thickening and creating a blood clot in her shunt. He wasn't even concerned about dehydration at that point but luckily he admitted her because she was way dehydrated. Also, her blood sugar was extremely low. So tonight she is with her dad and i am home with the other kids. I need my sleep to be strong for her tomorrow. I thank Kurt for staying with her :) I hope this is a one night stay. And after this, we will be EXTREMLY cautious about germs and sicknesses. RSV sister and hospital stay in the same month is enough to scare me half to death :)
On a side note, Tuesday night when she threw up, we slept right through it. We didn't even know until morning. Then she threw up in the car while i was driving.. had no idea til we got home. She didn't make a peep. She is a funny girl. Very tough.

Libbi's 1 year pictures

Go check out the rest of her pictures on facebook! If we are not friends, i'll add you as a friend. I will be posting them onto her blog as well, just may be a bit :)

Little fighter!

Libbi is still doing just fine! Her cough is going away and she is on the mend. She didn't get worse at all, she just keeps getting better! I feel so lucky and blessed, i was really scared there for a bit. I'm not surprised though, she is a little fighter! She doesn't let anything knock her down! And it's her birthday month! 18 more days and my little life changing miracle will be 1! I can't even believe it. Luv you Libbers!